


Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, Sukekiyo (Band)
Genre: Frottage, Inanimate Object Porn, Masturbation, Nun Kyo, Nuns, Other, Sexual Fantasy, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 16:00:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: Kyo's fingers ghosted over the strings of Die's guitar, not touching, but existing in nearly the same space. They hesitated in the air for a moment before settling on them, feeling the press of each cool string, pushing up against his skin.





	Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryuzato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuzato/gifts).



> For our trade. I hope this is something like what you wanted! It just sort of came to me while I was trying to decide what sort of masturbation I should write and I just ran with it!  
> Beta Readers: sakuraame  
> Song[s]: "Guala ft. Thirty Rack" by G-Eazy x Carnage

Kyo's fingers ghosted over the strings of Die's guitar, not touching, but existing in nearly the same space. They hesitated in the air for a moment before settling on them, feeling the press of each cool string, pushing up against his skin. Sucking his lower lip into his mouth, he caught it between his teeth and let go, careful not to let a single sound free itself from the instrument as he let go.

A few steps brought him to Kaoru's rack, one finger reaching out to trace over the neck of the guitar, his touch gentle... reverent. Letting go of his lip, he let out the quietest huff of breath, his eyelids hooding as he brought his finger down to where the neck met the body, lingering for longer than he usually let himself. 

_This_ , whatever it was, was becoming routine. A habit he couldn't seem to break no matter how desperately he tried to. It had been months since he'd last given in, since he'd moved from caressing the instruments to something far less innocuous. 

Lifting his finger from Kaoru's guitar, he turned and brought himself to Shinya's drums, the snare sitting out, innocent and completely outside of its case and he felt _blessed_. Last time he'd had to unsnap the case just to see it, had felt _dirty_ for violating such a sacred place with his vile fingertips. 

Kneeling in front of it, Kyo slid his hands along his exposed thighs, over the vinyl strapping and down to the glossy fabric concealing his lower legs from the world. He traced along the top hem, letting go only to reach out with both hands, smoothing one over the pearly toned side, the other feeling along the metal ringing the top. Excitement bubbled up inside him and he slowly spread his legs, allowing his hips one feeble rock, his head bowing, the veil of his costume falling down around his shoulders, shrouding him from the world for a moment as he rocked against the air. 

A groan worked its way out and he pushed himself up off the floor, hands leaving the snare, tracing over one drumstick before he left that, too, behind. His careful tour of the room provided him the rack of Toshiya's basses, one sunburst beauty catching his eye this time. 

His saliva felt thick in his throat, felt heavy on his tongue, and his throat constricted as he eased himself against the wall, settling one hand fully around the neck of the bass, the other sliding down over the slick material of his shorts, grasping his already straining cock and squeezing. 

Kyo tipped his head back, rolled his hips, groaning softly as he gave himself a few slow strokes through his shorts. 

It was _intense_ , always was when he finally gave in. Nothing in him could explain why this costume had become his best kept secret. He kept it in his locker, the ones they hadn't really used since they were a tiny little startup band, and no one was ever any the wiser about where it had gone. No one asked when he'd had to track it back down for a show, no one seemed to remotely _care_ , and Kyo liked it that way. 

He gave the bass a slow stroke as he popped open the button on his shorts, let go as he moved to the zipper, making his way back to where he'd started this grand tour of the room. _This_ was his dirty secret. 

His heart thudded in his chest as he carefully removed Die's oldest guitar from the rack, brought it with him to the soft little cushion he'd insisted they leave in the corner of the room for him when he was writing. Settling down, he shifted the pillow stuffing around until he nestled Die's guitar in it, eased himself on his side, one hand holding the body of the guitar so carefully, the other carefully arranging his veil over himself and the guitar, draping them in privacy. 

His head tipped down, his forehead resting on the neck of the guitar as he breathed out Die's name, his hand easing into his shorts, wrapping tightly around his cock, refusing to give it so much as a single stroke, the torture of it half the pleasure. 

His eyelids slid closed, his mind flitting over the things he'd touched, the people they belonged to, of how he'd imagined each of them over the years. Shinya when they'd been young, just starting out together in the music scene, how he'd listened to him in the darkness of their shared apartment when Shinya had thought he was asleep. How he'd spent so many nights aching and desperate, waiting hours until he could finally relieve himself with such strained quietness. 

He thought of all the times he'd roomed with Toshiya, the sound of him whispering to whatever girl he'd brought back, of the bed springs creaking as he took her, of how Kyo had pretended to have his headphones in, to be asleep for the whole thing, of how he'd waited until hours later to take a late night shower as an excuse to touch himself. He shivered at the memory, his hand pressing more tightly to Die's guitar, these memories precious, this seeming to be the only way he was allowed to relive them now.

The air conditioner kicking on brought him memories of the only time he'd ever caught Kaoru. Of the scent of weed around them, their stay in Amsterdam affording them the luxury of such a thing. He remembered how Kaoru had looked right at him as he'd stepped onto the bus, how he'd just kept stroking himself, his eyes glossy, his entire demeanor relaxed in a way Kyo had never seen before, and he'd stood there, watched unabashedly until Kaoru had fallen apart right under his watchful gaze.

Years had brought him to finally experiencing Die. Such a recent experience, so fresh in his mind that it felt _burned_ there. He remembered blonde curls cascading over Die's shoulders, the hitch of his breath, the jingle of the chain on his jeans, the clink of his belt against his wrist. The ghost of Die's pleasured moans still haunted his ears, the image of a man half-shrouded in shadow, half exposed in the light burned into his mind with searing accuracy. 

It was the only time Kyo had been unable to stop himself from obtaining his own pleasure in unison with one of them. He hadn't needed much, had been _dry_ far too long to last. His hand pressed against the front of his jeans, his hips rocking into the touch - he'd cum before Die had managed to, had left himself shaking, trying not to pant in the darkness.

The last thing he knew he'd ever see this incredibly clearly was the look on Die's face as he brought himself to completion. The little strained mewl he let out and the sound of his hand moving more harshly over his cock, longer _stronger_ jerks of his cock and the splash of cum on the toe of his black boot.

Kyo slipped himself free of his shorts, rocked his hips toward the guitar, his lips beginning to move in quiet prayer, asking for his forgiveness even as he took what he wanted. 

"Forgive me, for I have _sinned_."

Maybe it was sacrilegious, maybe he should have considered it to be what it so clearly was, but he just couldn't bring himself to be anything other than even more aroused. 

He shifted, his body eager, his mind swirling with the lust-filled haze he couldn't seem to shake when he let things go down this particular path. He trembled, the blunt head of his cock pressing to the back of Die's guitar and he let himself entertain the delirious _dream_ for a moment. 

_Die beside him, his cock so very aroused, gasping and whispering Kyo's name as he pushed against him, eager, unrestrained, desperate._

Kyo's prayer faltered, his body shuddering hard, and then he was pressing the guitar against himself with both hands, hips canting upward, one eager thrust... two... and three. And then he was falling, his breath failing him, his voice gone completely, his vision blurring with saline he didn't understand, and then he was being swept away in the pleasant buzz of his orgasm, _knew_ he was pulsing cum out against the smooth surface of the back of Die's guitar, _right where it would touch Die at_ , and he was gasping, panting, _keening_ as he shoved through the mess of it. 

He didn't stop until he was shivering, until he could feel his cum cooling, his cock softening. Only then did he so carefully untwine himself from the guitar, settle himself on his knees and pull the wet wipes from under his cushion. He'd stashed them there a week ago, had tried to talk himself out of this every night since then, had _failed_ tonight.

He cleaned Die's guitar with aching care, dried it and then used the proper cleaners on it before he ever moved to himself. His cock and then his outfit, so caringly cleaned of his sins, refastened, and then he was carrying the guitar back to where it belonged, placing it amongst its brethren.

One last lingering touch and Kyo turned away, his shame tucked away in a little bag clutched in his left hand, his steps sure as he made his way back toward the lockers to hide his secret away for another day.


End file.
